Frosty the Snowman: A Tale of Terror and Holiday Cheer

Woops! I haven't done one of these in a long time. I meant to post this little ditty sometime during Christmas, but at first it seemed rather irreverent, then I just plum forgot about it.
So anyway...
A long while back, after posting the rewritten "Every Body (Backstreet's Back)" lyrics, I received the following challenge via comment from none other than M.A.D. (aka Mary Ann DeBorde; reader, writer, and fellow zombie lit enthusiast):

Mary Ann: Okay. I am now OFFICIALLY tossing down the gauntlet to ya (hehe)

ZG: Bring it!

Mary Ann: Let's see what morbid, post-mortem deliciousness you can do with... FROSTY THE SNOWMAN!

ZG: *gasp!* Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong!

And now, without further ado, or faux-macho posturing, I give you the dark and twisted tale of...

Frosty the Snowman

Frosty the snowman was a dark and twisted soul,

With a brimstone pipe and a broken nose

And two eyes that burned like coals.

Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale, they say,

He died in the snow but the children

Know he came back to life one day.

There must have been a curse trapped in that

Old candle they found.

For when they burned it on his grave

On his coffin he did pound.

O, Frosty the snowman

Was alive as he could be,

And the children say he would slice

And flay and come after you and me.

Thumpetty thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

Look out, here he comes!

Thumpetty thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

The devil's on the run.

Frosty the snowman knew

He'd soon meet his demise,

So he said, "Let's run,

We'll kill everyone

Now before I'm exorcised."

Down to the village,

With a big blade in his hand,

Running here and there all

Around the square hissing,

"Catch me if you can."

He led them down the streets of town

Right to the traffic cop.

His blade never paused a moment

Even when he hollered "Stop!"

But Frosty the snow man

Was banished by a priest,

But he waved goodbye saying,

"I can't die,

I'll be back again to feast."

Thumpetty thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

Look out, here he comes!

Thumpetty thump thump,

Thumpety thump thump,

The devil's on the run.

Share that one with the kiddies. On second thought, don't. It even creeps me out, and it came my brian!