Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Last Hurrah: Zombies vs...

Yard gnomes!
In this, the last day of Zombie Month, Velvet, the grand master of Zombie Month, has tasked us with finding an opponent that zombies could womp with one hand tied behind their back. Or, as is more likely, one hand severed.
So I give you...

Gnomes have their own weapons



You might say that this is an unfair match up, but yard gnomes aren't as helpless in this epic battle as you might think.
For one, they're ever vigilant, never even blinking as they keep watch over their turf.

Well, ever vigilant might be a stretch...

Second, they're always cheerful, and we all know how important it is to keep your spirits up during a zombocalypse.
Forget zombies, thsi guy will die from laughter.
Thirdly, they all come equipped with yard tools such as shovel, hoes, and pitchforks, the perfect weapons against the undead.
And lastly, the gnomes travel in packs; when have you ever seen just one yard gnome? Having back-up is vital!

This horde is looking a bit undead themselves.
Their weaknesses, however, out weigh their strengths. Firstly, they're rather stiff. Agility is key to surviving a zombie fight. They're also rather small and can't, for this reason, run very fast. In a zombie battle, the ability to run away is second only to the ability to keep your head (literally and metaphorically). And lastly, they're just not tough enough, and without nerve, you got nothing.
The innevitable end.

Happy Zombie Month, y'all! It's been a blast.


Mad Scientist said...

LOL! That is such a creative post. I find gnomes to be creepy looking and down right annoying. Dang them for digging up my Dragon Snaps! They are such beautiful flowers.

Go Team Zombie!

Mad Scientist

M.A.D. said...

Omg ... *YARD GNOMES* - I about choked on my soda :D

BEAUTIFULLY warped mind you've got, Zombie Girrrl hehehe

Doesn't it bring a tear to one's rotten, decomposing eye for Velvet's Zombie month to be at an end?! :(

Zombie Girrrl said...

*dither-dither-blush* Oh, my! Thank you, M.A.D.! That may be the most flattering compliment I've ever received!
I'll have to stop being funny, though, because I don't want to endanger anyone's life!

I'm sorry about your snap dragons, Mad Scientist. However, I've avenged them. As you can see, the offensive gnomies were knifed in the end. ;)

Zombie Girrrl said...

Oh, and I'm very sad to see Zombie Month come to a close. It's my fravotist time of year in the blogosphere! Like Christmas and Halloween and Dia de los Muertos all wrapped in up rotting silk ribbon. :(

Taschima Cullen said...

Zombie Girrrl I like your new header!!

Zombie Girrrl said...

Thanks, Taschima!

Zombie Girrrl said...

Thanks, Taschima!

vvb32 reads said...

LOL - this post rocks!

Ophelia99 said...

OMG, so funny. Did you read the new book about How to Survive garden gnome Attacks? It is pretty darn funny. Boo!

Stopping by from vvb32reads ghost challenge.

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