Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Zombies vs Unicorns: Choose Your Team Wisely

(Contest deets at end of post)
In this, the battle of the century, two teams have arisen (one from the grave) to compete for surpemacy and the right to say that they are the bestest.
On one side we have every little girl's dream: they're sparkly, they smell like cupcakes, and their hair rains glitter, it's Team Unicorn!
Opposing Team Unicorn is your worst nightmare: they're rotting, rank, and not afraid to play dirty, let's hear it for Team Zombie!!!

The two teams take their places at opposite ends of the field, the unicorns stamping and pawing the earth that their fearful opponents arose from; the zombies moaning and gnashing their teeth at the delicious smell of horsey fear.
The honorary official of this clash of the Titans is former Idol judge Paula. She prances out to the center of the field, sings a little song, and fires the starting gun. The unicorns flance at the sound, but soon recover their composure, and take off racing across the pitch toward their enemy, but what's this? Half of the glittering herd rears up as the wind shifts directions and blows the stench of the undead legion into their faces! They wheel around and gallop back to the starting point, narrowly missing the official, and stand together, quivering with fear, by the fence.
Team Zombie didn't get as a good a start as their opponents, and is soon over taken by the braver members of the herd, many of them falling as the mercilessly sharp hooves crush their skulls. But the zombies aren't out of it yet! As one, they lurch forward, grabbing whatever their hands meet first and tearing their bony sharp fingers into flesh. Paula, too mesmerized by the glittery ponies, is soon overwhelmed by a small contengency of zombies and is "recruited" for Team Zombie. The ranks of Team Zombie continue to swell as even more desicated corpeses clamber from the earth. Moondancer, the captain of Team Unicorn, whinnies his displeasure and claims foul play, but the official has swallowed her whistle and doesn't seem to care for his tone of voice. Zombie Paula shambles toward the head of the herd, who is still neighing his discontent, and lunges at his throat. Her fellow zombies join her and they bring down the leader of the herd.
Team Unicorn watches in horror as their brave leader is enveloped by Team Zombie. The battle seems to have frozen for an instant, and then the zombies are thrown off as Moondance rises from amid the dog pile. The unicorns cheer their valiant leader, but too soon. Moondance moves toward his co-captain Glitteringfalls with none of the grace he usually possesses, and too late to save herself, Glitteringfalls realizes that Moondance has been turned into a zombicorn!
The battle takes a drastic turn for the worse for Team Unicorn as their herd is either devoured or infected, with only the winged unicorns managing to escape, if not with their pride, then at least with their lives.

In conclusion! Team Zombie wins because they didn't play by the rules and because everyone, in the end, was on their roster.

Now for the fun part, my lovely horde! Velvet of VVB32 Reads is having a zombietastic contest in honor of Zombie Month! All you have to do is plendge your allegiance to Team Zombie or Team Unicorn (and follow a couple other steps) to be entered for the chance to win! One winner will even be chosen from the comments of this or another of her contestants blogs, so your comment on this post gives you a chance to win as well! The winners will receive their very own copy of Zombies vs. Unicorns, the much discussed anthology that has sparked this war between the pretty ponies and the undead.
Contest ends September 30 and is open internationally. Good luck!

13 comments:

Sullivan McPig said...

Another victory for Team zombie!!! Yay!

throuthehaze said...

Great post! However, I am Team Unicorn!

vvb32 reads said...

suh-weeet piece! thanks for joining in!

Jen said...

Hahaha this made me laugh!

Team Unicorn for me though.

Carlos Antunes said...

I'm with you all the way.
Especially since George Romero is in town for a Master Class!
Zombies have a genius of a father.
What do unicorns have? Ah.... Nothing!
:D

Zombie Girrrl said...

Oh, now that's not true! Unicorns have the best thing of all: love and adoration of many a six-year-old girl. Of course, so does Hanna Montana, but we won't go there.
Tell Romero I said hi! ^-^

Ashley said...

YAY! Team Zombie!

Also don't forget to check out my amazing blog design giveaway that ends 9/29!

Ashley's Bookshelf

Zombie Girrrl said...

Hmm, what are you implying about my blog design?... ;)

Mary Ann said...

hahahaha

ZOMBIECORN ... I love that!

Excellent post, excellent *battle*, of course it was a foregone conclusion that
Team Zombie would *rise above the herd* ... we ALWAYS get A HEAD ;D

Heather said...

Absolutely terrifying!

Although I have to imagine winged unicorns = EXTRA AWESOME!! HAHA! ;)

New follower here...

http://littlesqueed.blogspot.com/2010/09/team-unicorn-zombies-vs-unicorns.html

Kim said...

Go zombies!

Loved your post:-)

September Zombies

Giada M said...

YAY for winged unicorns! They would not be so easily killed. And unicorns got MAGIC! :P

Black Disaster Fairy said...

Take one up for the team. I'm a new follower of yours :)

However, I have to say I'm more team unicorn.

Black Disaster Fairy

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